Wednesday

I missed a day, meaning I'm calling off the blog a day for 365 days thing. for now. I may pick it up again, but life really is moving way too fast for me right now.

add demanding children, a summer cold, and 105-degree heat, and blogging gets pushed aside.

not to mention I'm in school.

I don't know what I was thinking is the answer to the question you all want to ask.

but here I am, I'm doing it, well, and it will be over soon.

in the meantime, I will come here as often as I can, but don't expect too much from me. no words of wisdom or paths to the ultimate reality. just checking in, saying hey, and providing a little look into the person I am now.

Monday, part 2

I will now prove how non-tech saavy I am.

something happened to my small, cute, and fits-in-very-nicely-with-my-others little banner thing under my "What I Believe In" heading. no longer was it cute or VISIBLE.

my cure?

put on the other one. the bigger one. and really show who believes in blogging with integrity.

I'm happy to support the effort to bring all bloggers into a respectful space, where sharing, reading, responding, and caring are all part of our blogger needs and wants.

did I just write that? does that make sense? must I refer back to the heat problem of the previous post?

eh...

Monday

so effing hot I want to die. can't think, can't blog, can't.

what I would do for central air...

Sunday

last night was quite a night.

Harper came down with a cold and was up many, many times. but Penny slept through! yea!

and we were awoken at 4:30 by the police. our car had been hit.

I made Tate go down to talk with them. it was enough for me to open the door in my underwear to the officer at my door.

what we know: dude side-swiped the car in front of us and then hit our car on the driver's side front, sending our car BACK 20 or so feet. dude wasn't drunk -- he wasn't arrested. we think he fell asleep. but I can't imagine how fast he was going to hit our car like that.

here are the details in pictures:



our car, seen to the right, was under the tree to the left. yeah.



our damage: missing grill, bent bumper, messed up turn signal



and a little body damage.

dude's car?



clearly totalled. the dark spot to the right is the liquid contents of the truck's engine compartment.


I have three things to say:


1. very thankful no one was in our car at the time
2. can you believe the dude just walked away
3. buy Volvo.


our car still runs, as it did pre-accident. it's amazing.


and a final note: this is the second time this car has been hit while parked on the side of the road. we're thinking maybe an airplane next, or a tree, or aliens will capture it in a tractor beam wanting to study the amazing engineering of 1980s Swedish carmakers. you know, because apparently this car is invincible.

Saturday

I need to write Penelope's birth story.

I need to write Harper's birth story.

how different, how wonderful.

need to find the time.

then will post.

I promise.

Friday

finished my first week of school...I have nothing to say. no wonderous realization, no amazingly true story. just a tired mother of a toddler who refuses to sleep. and cries. and must have me to comfort her. and only me.

I'll regroup tomorrow.

hopefully.

Thursday

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

wednesday

I deleted yesterday's post because upon later thought, I felt it was unprofessional to voice my frustrations here in a public forum. thank you, secretmomthoughts, for you comments.

don't you love this, always something new with me...

in my studies, much is said about labels and how they contribute to our view of the world. for this reason, I am now abandoning my themed days and I will just write. I also, will abandon the labels of my posts. I will keep the ones already attached, but no new ones will emerge.

naming, or labeling something limits the way we think about it. just thinking of myself, I could be labeled a "student". what does that mean? I could also be labeled a "graduate student". what does that mean and how does it differ from just "student"?

and here's where things really start to get crazy. I am, in some way, all of these things:

student
graduate student
parent
mother
woman
breastfeeding mother
daughter
child
wife
spouse
sister
sibling
lover
friend
companion
unemployed
blogger
tall
cyclist
brown-haired
white
American
bus
commuter
renter
scientist
biologist
hippy
dog owner
consumer
shopper
28
lower middle class
registered democrat
cousin
independent
niece
aunt
controlling
open minded

this is just the list that I've compiled today, throughout the day. and it's interesting, after seeing all these things that I am, to look at one label and see what it means for you.

I'll reexamine "student". to me, this is a younger person, teens to early 20s, who is going to school, doesn't have much money, lots of roommates, not very responsible and parties a lot. but this is not me. so how could I possibly label myself a "student"?

what about "graduate student"? the only thing I may change in the above is the age range. otherwise, that is my idea of a "graduate student". still not me.

okay, so now I tried to modify student, and here's what I came up with: I am a graduate student, a student of the world, a student of early childhood and infancy, a student of society, a student of relationships, etc. this is where I will stop, but I could continue.

and this is why labels are so hard. you label someone and there are automatically assumptions attached to that label about who that person is and how they act. how unfair. in schools this is happening all the time. students are minority, limited english proficient (LEP), low-performing, gifted, poor, talented, mexican, asian, white trash, rich, etc. and all of these labels bring to mind assumptions of who those kids are. and in doing so, I see and really now believe, we are shortchanging these kids. we limit them, or put undue pressure on them, by labeling them.

to try and fully understand this, I've been trying to think of how I would feel if labeled low-performing. would I be motivated to do more? would I give in and believe the label and act as I felt someone with that label would act?

okay, okay. so why put all this here. first, I like to share knowledge, especially freshly discovered as it will hopefully pique your interest as well and maybe a cool discussion will begin. also, I no longer want to label my posts. I just want to write. I want you to come here with no assumptions as to what you will find other than my thoughts. I will continue my blog-a-day challenge for myself, but that is all to be expected here. I may change the title of my blog, but that has yet to be determined. I'm open to suggestions.

I hope you understand, continue reading, and enjoy!

please help

how did/do you get your toddler to go to bed? seriously, need some help and suggestions here. we've tried everything. it's a 20-90 minute ordeal depending on the night, and I can't hang. I'm going insane with this.

please help. please leave suggestions here or email me or link me to where you've written about it before.

and if you have bonus ideas on getting a toddler to sleep past 5:30, we'd appreciate those too.

thanks in advance.

weekend update

I would like to dedicate this post to dad, for his unwavering patience and love of the person I am. you said you had fun yesterday and I hope that's true. we will go again, and we will rock, and I will drink ahead of time so I'm easier to lead. I love you. happy father's day.

four years ago, I gave my boyfriend salsa dance lessons for Christmas.

this year for father's day, I finally came through. the only glitch was the salsa class was moved so we had to do swing. actually, no glitch, dad just wants to dance.

so there we were yesterday, ready to dance, after 5 hours of sleep, and no lunch, having forgotten to eat before the 4 hour workshop because of frantically getting the girls ready for the sitter. whew. and dance we did.

at first, dad embarrassed me, which he is very good at doing in any venue with music playing. next, we danced. and this is a problem because he is supposed to be dancing and I'm supposed to be following.

I'm a very controlling person. yes, I'll admit it. I like things done my way. and when it comes to dancing, I have a really hard time letting go. this was okay at first. we were learning the basics and it was good for me to focus on what we were doing. however, I started to notice my sweet husband's frustration with me around the start of hour two. unfortunately for him we were in a public place so he couldn't just yell at me to stop it. I tried to tell him I knew I was not doing a good job at following, that I was trying, that I would stop.

but I couldn't. I don't know why. I don't know if it just was the control freak in me or something more sinister hiding deep enough to remain unnoticed. I tried to tell him everything he was doing wrong, how to fix it, and damn it -- I couldn't just RELAX and have fun.

and here's where I see my perfectionist side collide with the control freak. how did dad ever come to be able to live with me anyway? I had to do it perfectly. we had to do it perfectly. forget that neither of us had ever been swing dancing, or had any sort of dance lesson. that doesn't matter. if I'm going to do something, I do it right. and get really frustrated and upset if it doesn't happen right away.

I guess I thought 4 hours was enough time to become a professional swing dancer. that we are that awesome. that "workshop" means completely proficient and ready for Dancing With The Stars or some shit.

but alas. we are just so-so. but that is what is expected after one lesson. and I'm okay with that. now.

towards the end, I was finally able to relax and let dad lead. and it turns out we are pretty good. too bad this only lasted a little bit since our exhaustion and low blood sugar caught up with us around the same time. we stumbled, we laughed, and we left on a good note with plans to go again.

continuing, as planned

five hours of sleep.

swing dance lesson.

fun.

too late to be up.

tomorrow...

for the record, I'm 5' 7"

this morning I was lamenting to myself that I had nothing to say, yet I have a blog to update, so come up with something, and it better be good.

and then I remembered that I had to go pee in a cup and give blood for life insurance testing. surely something would occur there to write about.

and it did. and now I'm really mad.

the usual routine went like this: pee, get weight, get height, get blood pressure three times, get blood, see ya.

my routine went like this: pee, get weight, get height, no really get height, get blood pressure three times, get blood, for the love of god get my height, see ya.

here's the discrepancy. since turning 13 I have measured 5 feet and 7 inches. always dead on. never wavering no matter where I'm measured. until about 6 weeks ago when I measured 5 feet and 7 1/4 inches. cool. taller I can handle.

today's results: 5' 6 1/4"; 5' 6 1/4"; 5' 6"

seriously? shrinking? an inch in 6 weeks?!?!

the first two times I thought, this thing must be off. dad was measured here wednesday and also was surprised to hear himself almost an inch shorter than usual. but the third time a different person was brought in to reevaluate.

still not convinced.

so I promptly measured myself upon returning home. and in an attempt to prove to the world my true height, the following photo montage:

photo 1 next to the measuring tape

photo 2, not much better

this is getting funny

put a book on your head, that will help show where you measure up to. right...

okay, like as a kid, put a mark on the wall.

I don't know, that looks pretty close to the 7, right? I used two 60-inch measuring tapes, with this 7 coming off the second. that makes 5 feet and 7 inches. or pretty damn close to it.

now we just have to measure dad. and call the lab to tell them their chart's off and I'm not shrinking.

and I had to add this, because it's adorable.

theme days

thanks to secret mom thoughts, I've got two more theme days I will try and incorporate next week: "ticked off tuesdays" and "then and now thursdays". the then and now may be a little hard as my photographic documentation is missing from most of my teen years, but I'll try and see how it goes.

so that brings me to 4 theme days. that should be good.

see you tomorrow.

ready for this?

I am going to attempt a blog a day for 365 days.

just cause.

and I'm sure this will only last about, oh, a week or so. I do start school again next week after all. however, that also means I will constantly have my laptop with me, so maybe there will be 2 or 3 (gasp!) blogs a day during the week.

I think I will also start more themed days, at least to begin. that should alleviate the need to really come up with something good to say, every day. I already have "weekend update" on sundays, and will add "wardrobe wednesday" next week, done by many and inspired by this fine lady.

any ideas for others? I figure if at least 3 or 4 days have themes, I can do this.

and since I just noticed I already have done a blog a day since sunday, we'll count that as day one. look at that! day 4 already. that was easy.

bug update

the bug sent to me from New Mexico is actually an arachnid from the family Solifugae. they can bite humans, but aren't venomous. and apparently they're really fast. they are known as sun spiders, wind scorpions, and camel spiders. these guys are found all over the world in hot, arid areas, hence a New Mexican high desert origin for our visitor.

I wrote to my mom to see if she knew what it was and it was identified as a "child of the earth". this name applies to the creature above, and this scary looking thing, known as a Jerusalem cricket:

I'm not sure which I'd rather have arrive in the mail. but I'm sure the cricket would have met the same fate as the sun spider did.

neighbors

our downstairs neighbors have moved, and all prospective neighbors have come looking during naptime. I feel this is completely unfair to the poor soul who sees the cool place below us. the apartments here aren't bad, with beautiful hardwoods, lots of space and lots of light. but there is little sound-proofing.

all I know is hd doesn't walk anywhere. she stomps.

and that must suck if you live below us.

cause really, how much could area rugs deaden the noise anyway.

and did I mention she has officially entered the constant whining/tantrum phase and never sleeps past 6? and that we have another one who will inevitably be walking around before your new one-year lease expires?

like I said, poor soul.

Weekend update

last week we received a most wonderful package of goodies from grandma Olsen that included this:
I was putting all the packaging away when I saw something in some of the plastic. I looked closer and found the above, immobile, even when the plastic rattled. I thought it was dead. the biologist in me was all, look at this cool thing, wonder what it is. so I poked it. and it moved. and I freaked.

that plastic went right back in the box where it was sealed until dad could get home, take pictures and kill it.

now the biologist in me is all, what a wuss, it's just some bug, you've seen dead bodies and stuff and didn't freak. but I don't know what it is or what kind of damage it could have done to me or my lovely family (who I would like to remain lovely).

any ideas as to who our visitor from New Mexico was?

in other news, we went berry picking today and got tons of raspberries, blackberries and blueberries. there is something quite satisfying about picking your own food. just to see where it came from and see who grew it is cool. and hd loves running around on farms. so many rows to run up and down, chickens to see, and berries to pick and eat.

actually, she called them boobies. we picked boobies today. hee hee.

at least the music was good

sunday we went to the blues festival on the waterfront with some friends. it was 90 out so we slathered everyone in sunscreen, prayed for a spot under a tree, and headed out. upon arrival, hd was on dad's back sporting her cool new purple sunglasses. we met up with friends and while deciding where to go first, beer stand or spot by the stage (beer won), a woman approached dad.

woman: I think your daughter should have a hat on.

dad: oh, thanks for your concern, but she's okay.

woman: no, really, you need to put a hat on your child.

dad: I'm sorry, but don't F***ing tell me how to raise my child. she's fine.

I'm so proud.

the cussing aside, what a man. he's so hot.

and what nerve that lady had. not only is she NOT the mother and/or responsible one for my child, but she has no clue as to our situation. she doesn't know that hd will not wear her sun hat, that we DO own, so we cover her in sunscreen and hope the new glasses stay on for a bit. and it's none of her business anyway. it's not like dad was beating her or something truly horrible. they were chillin', and no sunburning, or even tanning, has occurred on our fair-skinned child yet.

anyway, she wasn't wearing a hat either, and from the looks of her tan, she's got about 5 years to leather-dom.

but I wouldn't tell her that. that would be rude.

a little about a lot

aka really, really, really overdue weekend update. so since I last corresponded with my reader(s), much has occurred: a trip to Ketchikan, Alaska, buses to daycare, parties, swim lessons and TWO DAYS OFF.

only two days you say? well, it's a start, and it was wonderful. in two weeks I return to school, full time, and will be busier than I can even conceive right now. and until then, I am mostly with both children, mopping up spit-up and singing the ABCs.

actually, we're not allowed to sing them right now. any time we start, hd will proclaim, "no ABCD, kay?" and when she sings it, it turns into the song that never ends. when she reaches the end with "now I know my ABCs", it becomes, "now I know my ABCDEFG..."

I know. adorable.

anyway, back to me.

I have exactly 4 days to myself before school begins, two of which have already passed. of course I had grand ideas of all the awesome things I would do, including many naps, clothes shopping, blogging...

and now all I see ahead are two more days where I don't have enough time to do all I want to do. the time passes faster when the kids are away. how's that fair? how am I supposed to get anything done?

but really, a proper weekend update should include weekend activities.

yesterday, we celebrated the 4th on top of the world at a friend's new penthouse apartment that is fabulous. it had all the things you would expect, but what really did it for me was the 70-foot-long balcony facing the river. it was gorgeous. and I would show you, if we had remembered the camera.

however, the real highlight of the evening were my amazingly behaved children. hd was up 4 hours past her bedtime and never whined, fussed, or tantrumed. she was pleasant, outgoing, cute, and binky-free the whole night. and little p, took a short nap and chilled the rest of the evening with anyone wanting to hold her.

it was great.

it will probably never happen again.