AHHH!
sleep-short nights, super-long days and children of all sizes everywhere -- such is the life of a mother/wife/student teacher. when people find out all I do they say something like, wow, how do you do it? why doesn't I don't have a f-ing clue ever suffice?
the days are all one (it's tuesday, right?); the assignments many, long, and complicated; the children cry at daycare for mommy; dinner's on the table at 6; teenagers wanting, I don't know, help I guess -- I don't know what anyone wants. and I don't know what I give. I'm just surviving here. trying to look 2 days ahead to avoid all-nighters and remember to take crap out of the freezer to thaw.
what was I thinking. really. one year is turning out to be a very. long. time.
but as Aretha says, I will survive, and so will my family and my students. and we'll all laugh about this someday.
and in the meantime, a funny conversation to sustain me:
HD: I poop in my diaper.
me: you pooped?
HD: yeah. me eat poop?
me: no, that's yucky.
HD (giggling): me eat Blue poop?
me: nooo...
HD (giant smile): me eat daddy poop?
me (giggling): nooo...
HD (ginormous smile): me eat poop yucky!
me (laughing): yes HD. you eat poop very yucky.
10.27.2009
10.22.2009
randomness
time has slowed down for me today so I feel obligated to write. I've been quite neglectful and though it may not bother any of you it really rankles me.
today is a good day -- first day of super-fog of the season. this is one of the biggest reasons I love Portland, the fog. and one of my favorite things to do is ride over the Broadway bridge in the fog where you can't see a damn thing when you're over the river. it's so cool and I get to do it today. you should be jealous.
I now know what is meant by "deflated boobs".
my baby is ticklish and it is adorable. squeeze a thigh, side or tickle her neck and she gets very close to laughing. kid doesn't laugh, ever, but goodness the smiles are awesome.
Harper is mimicking like crazy and has begun narrating her every move. to listen to her talk about her world is like getting into her head. with no filter and a large vocabulary, it's amazing what comes out. the other day she couldn't get dressed because she was "doin' stuff". how can I argue with that?
school rocks (both of them) but I am totally unmotivated this week to do anything. I'm trying to get back to studious me but it is proving very difficult. then I looked at all the (crap) really important to my education work I still have to do and wanted to shred my syllabi and pretend they didn't exist. 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks.
today is a good day -- first day of super-fog of the season. this is one of the biggest reasons I love Portland, the fog. and one of my favorite things to do is ride over the Broadway bridge in the fog where you can't see a damn thing when you're over the river. it's so cool and I get to do it today. you should be jealous.
I now know what is meant by "deflated boobs".
my baby is ticklish and it is adorable. squeeze a thigh, side or tickle her neck and she gets very close to laughing. kid doesn't laugh, ever, but goodness the smiles are awesome.
Harper is mimicking like crazy and has begun narrating her every move. to listen to her talk about her world is like getting into her head. with no filter and a large vocabulary, it's amazing what comes out. the other day she couldn't get dressed because she was "doin' stuff". how can I argue with that?
school rocks (both of them) but I am totally unmotivated this week to do anything. I'm trying to get back to studious me but it is proving very difficult. then I looked at all the (crap) really important to my education work I still have to do and wanted to shred my syllabi and pretend they didn't exist. 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks.
10.16.2009
busy busy
can you tell I'm in school? I thought I would have a lot to say during this time and would be blogging at least once daily. the problem is I have plenty to say, but no words to express my thoughts with. all my brainpower is going into my classes and preparation for teaching and job fairs in January. and when I have downtime, I'm down, literally.
so you may not see much of me for a while, but I will try to check in at least weekly.
I taught for the first time this week and it went really great. the students were wonderful and I was able to break the teaching ice. I now feel much more relaxed about it and am excited to do more.
see, not interesting. at all.
I'll write later.
so you may not see much of me for a while, but I will try to check in at least weekly.
I taught for the first time this week and it went really great. the students were wonderful and I was able to break the teaching ice. I now feel much more relaxed about it and am excited to do more.
see, not interesting. at all.
I'll write later.
10.08.2009
I've been tagged!
I've been tagged for a meme by Nonlinear girl, my first tag! thank you thank you thank you. I am deeply honored and hope I can live up to the task. the rules are: list 10 honest things about yourself and tag 7 others to do the same. here goes...
1. I was very shy growing up. I had lots of friends, but I was the one who always responded, "I don't know, what do you wanna do?" when teenage scheduling was going on. this wasn't apparent to me until senior year of high school when I stopped calling my friends and they didn't call me. I realized I had always called them, not the other way around. it was quite a shock to discover your friends are not your friends, but only hung around because you were in their face. I was quiet and invisible. but no more!
2. it took me 10 years (off and on) to earn my Bachelor's. there are three reasons for this: 1) I love school; 2) I move a lot; 3) I'm scared to be an adult. I know, I've got a husband, kids, support myself, but a real job? that's grown up. still scared though thrilled to be a teacher next year.
3. I am so incredibly happy to be done breastfeeding I can hardly stand it. I never enjoyed it. breastfeeding for me was always associated with pain, infections, plugged ducts, and being stuck on a couch/chair/car/bathroom for 40+ minutes. thanks, no. and how come they always want to eat when you're about to eat? so annoying. I've eaten too many meals on the couch and off my children.
4. the way my food is arranged on a plate is a very sensitive issue. I don't like layers, or sauces that get on items for which they were not intended. additionally, I hate when other people put butter, jelly or peanut butter on my bread 'cause they never do it right -- all the way to the edge! and PB&J must be cut in 4 squares. and grilled cheese diagonally in half.
5. my 20 minute stories could easily be condensed to 5, but I like to talk. a lot. and I feel that I really have a lot to say that other people just must know. I hope this will help me to be a good teacher. but if in a social setting you ever see my husband tap my leg, that's my signal to wrap it up and let someone else have a turn. maybe I'm trying to make up for my quiet childhood (see #1).
6. I want a road bike for the sole reason I think I'd look cool on one.
7. some kind things people do really annoy me, such as stopping at an intersection when they do not have the stop sign and I've been waiting for them to pass. this goes equally for whether I am in a car or on my bike. another annoying kindness is when people try to wipe food off my child. as if I cannot see the strawberry all over her face, I need a complete stranger to wipe it off for me.
8. I really like to buy shoes and not wear them. they usually hang out in the closet for a few months/years until I purge and give them (back) to Goodwill. Tate loves this about me. really.
9. smartness and me mix, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I am quite cocky when it comes to my intelligence and sometimes have a hard time listening to people instead of telling them what I think or correcting them. sometimes I catch myself before, sometimes after with an apology, and sometimes I may never know. of course, intelligence and a person's amount of it is subjective, so please take this with a grain of salt.
10. I am scared that Tate will die first and I will have to live without him. awww, I know. but really, this is a true fear of mine that I dream about even. when we first met, he had a thing about how he would die saving some tourists in France from a burning car in his 40's or something. when we got married, I made him promise me 30 years. we are currently renegotiating.
I don't have 7 people to tag as I am not new to blogging, but new to the blogging community and though I follow some blogs does not mean I feel comfortable tagging bloggers I read but don't communicate with. and if that incredibly long sentence isn't enough reason, check back at #1.
sorry to be a dead end, but it has to be somewhere, right?
thanks again, Nonlinear girl!
1. I was very shy growing up. I had lots of friends, but I was the one who always responded, "I don't know, what do you wanna do?" when teenage scheduling was going on. this wasn't apparent to me until senior year of high school when I stopped calling my friends and they didn't call me. I realized I had always called them, not the other way around. it was quite a shock to discover your friends are not your friends, but only hung around because you were in their face. I was quiet and invisible. but no more!
2. it took me 10 years (off and on) to earn my Bachelor's. there are three reasons for this: 1) I love school; 2) I move a lot; 3) I'm scared to be an adult. I know, I've got a husband, kids, support myself, but a real job? that's grown up. still scared though thrilled to be a teacher next year.
3. I am so incredibly happy to be done breastfeeding I can hardly stand it. I never enjoyed it. breastfeeding for me was always associated with pain, infections, plugged ducts, and being stuck on a couch/chair/car/bathroom for 40+ minutes. thanks, no. and how come they always want to eat when you're about to eat? so annoying. I've eaten too many meals on the couch and off my children.
4. the way my food is arranged on a plate is a very sensitive issue. I don't like layers, or sauces that get on items for which they were not intended. additionally, I hate when other people put butter, jelly or peanut butter on my bread 'cause they never do it right -- all the way to the edge! and PB&J must be cut in 4 squares. and grilled cheese diagonally in half.
5. my 20 minute stories could easily be condensed to 5, but I like to talk. a lot. and I feel that I really have a lot to say that other people just must know. I hope this will help me to be a good teacher. but if in a social setting you ever see my husband tap my leg, that's my signal to wrap it up and let someone else have a turn. maybe I'm trying to make up for my quiet childhood (see #1).
6. I want a road bike for the sole reason I think I'd look cool on one.
7. some kind things people do really annoy me, such as stopping at an intersection when they do not have the stop sign and I've been waiting for them to pass. this goes equally for whether I am in a car or on my bike. another annoying kindness is when people try to wipe food off my child. as if I cannot see the strawberry all over her face, I need a complete stranger to wipe it off for me.
8. I really like to buy shoes and not wear them. they usually hang out in the closet for a few months/years until I purge and give them (back) to Goodwill. Tate loves this about me. really.
9. smartness and me mix, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I am quite cocky when it comes to my intelligence and sometimes have a hard time listening to people instead of telling them what I think or correcting them. sometimes I catch myself before, sometimes after with an apology, and sometimes I may never know. of course, intelligence and a person's amount of it is subjective, so please take this with a grain of salt.
10. I am scared that Tate will die first and I will have to live without him. awww, I know. but really, this is a true fear of mine that I dream about even. when we first met, he had a thing about how he would die saving some tourists in France from a burning car in his 40's or something. when we got married, I made him promise me 30 years. we are currently renegotiating.
I don't have 7 people to tag as I am not new to blogging, but new to the blogging community and though I follow some blogs does not mean I feel comfortable tagging bloggers I read but don't communicate with. and if that incredibly long sentence isn't enough reason, check back at #1.
sorry to be a dead end, but it has to be somewhere, right?
thanks again, Nonlinear girl!
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